Friday, October 25, 2019

5 Warning Signs Your Cat Is in a Gang

Current estimates suggest there are hundreds of millions of cats in the world and a growing percentage of them - according to our researchers - are involved in cat-gang activity. Is your feline friend affiliated with those who would swat away law and order from our communities? Heed these crucially important five warning signs that your cat may be involved in a gang: 

1. “M” on Forehead
Long considered an innocent trait of tabby cats, an "M" on a feline's forehead may foretell membership in the Meow Mafia - the largest international cat crime syndicate with millions of members worldwide. Kittens are often initiated into the Meow Mafia by having the “M” design tattooed on their heads at birth to remind others of their gang affiliation.

2. Resists Stomach Rubs
Catnip is often smuggled across neighborhood lines by carrying the intoxicating substance around the underbelly of household pets. When your cat bites and scratches upon having her belly rubbed, it may be out of habit because she is accustomed to smuggling "the nip" and protecting her illicit cargo.

3. Runs Around Crazily at 2am
Think your cat running around like a wild man at 2am is just an idiosyncrasy of the species? Think again. Some cats, unable to resist sampling the catnip they smuggle, are known to have overactive nocturnal episodes while caregivers sleep. 

4. Stares Out the Window for Hours
Under the guise of "watching birds," veteran cat gangsters may be asked to keep watch for potential catnip drop-offs in the neighborhood. Large windowsills provide the best vantage point for monitoring catnip trafficking. 

5. Carries a Sword at All Times
While this is obviously the most ambiguous sign of gang activity, carrying a sword might possibly suggest your cat is prone to violence. However, since most cats casually carry swords for a multitude of innocent reasons, be sure to check the other warning signs first before jumping to conclusions. It would be ridiculous to confuse a typical, everyday cat behavior for something gang-related.


  1. I seriously laughed out loud. Meow Mafia. Hahaha.

  2. Omg!!!!!! Bahahahahahahhahahaha! You are so clever!!!

  3. Uh oh! Some of mine and Lexy's secrets have been revealed! I'm going to get a sharpie and change the M on my forehead to a J!

  4. uh oh staring out the window going on here.....eeeek! Better close the blinds! hahah

  5. I already have my gangsta name. They call me Easy E! ~Ernie

  6. My Sammy is part of the Codmother gang. His gang name is Sammy the Shopvac. :)

  7. I am maybe not so subtle, and just leave a horse head in the bed. OK, maybe not a horse, but a mouse is pretty similar—ish in size and has way more fun effect.

  8. If you haven't, you should read The Oatmeal's list of signs your cat is plotting to kill you!

  9. My cat molly must be part of a gang… she fits 2,3 and 4. The gasp!!!!!!