Friday, November 29, 2019

Cat Looking Forward to Destroying Christmas Tree Again This Year

MUNCIE, Indiana - A mysterious arbor-like presence has once again returned to the living room - as foretold by ancient feline prophecy - and one cat in Indiana is hell-bent on destroying it. According to local cat Gabriel, the decorated tree enigma can only be defeated by following strict instructions. "Swat at the shiny orbs, chew the illuminated vines, and then climb into the belly of the beast itself," Gabriel declared bravely from inside a stocking. Stories of brave cat warriors actually toppling the trees have been rumored for years, but they always seem to return during the winter solstice. "Whatever happens, it will be back again next year," admitted Gabriel, "And I'll be waiting when it does."

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Logan

We remember Logan on this Whisker Wednesday. Logan crossed the Rainbow Bridge last week, according to his caregiver (Malessa).

Our Rainbow Bridge correspondent reports that Logan is now joyously eating endless supplies of beef jerky while surrounded by furry, green balls. Laser pointers captivate his attention in between telling all the other animals how blessed and happy he was during his time on the earth. 

"Thanks for the love, Mama," said Logan while playing a harp.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Barista Cat Confesses: I Can't Make Coffee

SEATTLE, Washington - Despite being employed at a cat cafe for the past two years, a barista cat recently shocked the nation by admitting she cannot actually make coffee or any other beverage. "To be honest with you, I'm not even sure what coffee is," confessed Pandora from one of the many cat trees at the Emerald-Meow Cat Cafe. "All I know is that some humans seem addicted to coffee and cats," she added, "But I would hopefully never act that way about any substance." Pandora's fellow cat baristas confirmed she excitedly rolls around in catnip at least 3 hours each day.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Mr. Fat Cat

Mr. Fat Cat is feeling fancy on this Whisker Wednesday! 

Please forgive us for the break in posts the past week or so. The lowly staff writers at The Whisker Times (Jade and Tyler) got married on November 9th and were enjoying the honeymoon. Our cats were ready to continue posting for us, but unfortunately couldn't open the laptop.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Bathroom Bengal

You know that bottle of soap in the background was knocked over just seconds after this picture was taken.

Friday, November 1, 2019

Cat Freaks Out at Doorbell Only 98 Times on Halloween

OGALLALA, Nebraska - Another Halloween has passed and one cat in Nebraska is celebrating an accomplishment - he only freaked out 98 times whenever trick-or-treaters rang the doorbell last night. Still watching the front door expecting the noise to come back at anytime, Bobo the cat felt a sense of pride for staying strong in the face of horror. "Last night was rough," he recounted, "the bells would chime and ungodly creatures demanded bribes." His resolve to remain calm when threatened with possible imminent destruction will be tested again tonight when his caregiver orders pizza delivery.