Friday, December 13, 2019

Cat Has Worn Same Four Socks for 11 Years

POPLAR BLUFF, Missouri - Some fashion trends may never go out of style, but one cat is testing that belief as he has personally worn the same four white socks for over a decade. "It feels like I was born wearing these socks and I don't see any reason to take them off now," explained Mittens. Despite his continued wear of the socks, they appear to perpetually be in immaculately white condition. "Quite frankly, this house can be downright filthy and I'm not walking around without some kind of barrier between my feet and this nasty floor," he continued. He is considering asking his caregiver for four small shoes to complete his look.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Tom

Tom - who is an impressive 20 years old - wishes you a happy #WhiskerWednesday!

Thanks to Sandy for sharing this golden boy with us.

Friday, December 6, 2019

Hoarder Cat Kept 34 Catnip Mice Under Couch for Years

WAUKESHA, Wisconsin - Friends and family in The Badger State were shocked and appalled during a recent move to discover their unassuming cat had been hoarding catnip mice under the couch since early 2014. "I really don't see it as a problem like you're making it out to be," protested Roberto the cat from under a mountain of 34 catnip mice toys. "These are my friends and they liked it under there," he hissed. Algernon #12 - one of the many catnip mice recovered - disagreed: "He swatted me under this couch fourteen months ago and hasn't talked to me since." The freed mice were relocated to a toy box where they are expected to lay untouched for the next three years.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Tiger

Tiger sends you his richest blessings on this Whisker Wednesday! Thanks to reader Joe for showing us the money and his fur child.

Friday, November 29, 2019

Cat Looking Forward to Destroying Christmas Tree Again This Year

MUNCIE, Indiana - A mysterious arbor-like presence has once again returned to the living room - as foretold by ancient feline prophecy - and one cat in Indiana is hell-bent on destroying it. According to local cat Gabriel, the decorated tree enigma can only be defeated by following strict instructions. "Swat at the shiny orbs, chew the illuminated vines, and then climb into the belly of the beast itself," Gabriel declared bravely from inside a stocking. Stories of brave cat warriors actually toppling the trees have been rumored for years, but they always seem to return during the winter solstice. "Whatever happens, it will be back again next year," admitted Gabriel, "And I'll be waiting when it does."

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Whisker Wednesday: Logan

We remember Logan on this Whisker Wednesday. Logan crossed the Rainbow Bridge last week, according to his caregiver (Malessa).

Our Rainbow Bridge correspondent reports that Logan is now joyously eating endless supplies of beef jerky while surrounded by furry, green balls. Laser pointers captivate his attention in between telling all the other animals how blessed and happy he was during his time on the earth. 

"Thanks for the love, Mama," said Logan while playing a harp.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Barista Cat Confesses: I Can't Make Coffee

SEATTLE, Washington - Despite being employed at a cat cafe for the past two years, a barista cat recently shocked the nation by admitting she cannot actually make coffee or any other beverage. "To be honest with you, I'm not even sure what coffee is," confessed Pandora from one of the many cat trees at the Emerald-Meow Cat Cafe. "All I know is that some humans seem addicted to coffee and cats," she added, "But I would hopefully never act that way about any substance." Pandora's fellow cat baristas confirmed she excitedly rolls around in catnip at least 3 hours each day.