Friday, August 23, 2019

Peace Talks Between Cat and Vacuum Cleaner Begin


OWENSBORO, Kentucky – The ongoing conflict between Mr. Butterbean and the resident vacuum cleaner appeared to show signs of possibly subsiding as peace talks between the two opened Friday. Mr. Butterbean – a gray and white cat living with his caregiver in Kentucky - alleges the vacuum is attempting to terrorize the household with loud, “machine like” sounds, usually occurring on the weekends. He often finds solace retreating to the bedroom and hiding under the bed with other affected refugees: a dusty stuffed teddy bear and various unmatched socks. “I’m hesitant to say Bissell will agree to my terms or even open a dialogue,” Mr. Butterbean commented, “He doesn’t really speak to me unless he’s screaming.” Mr. Butterbean insists his battles with the vacuum have only become more frequent since his caregiver got a girlfriend earlier this year.  


13 comments:

  1. This is the the only news site I trust!! Hilarious! Radar2020

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  2. I love this soooo much! Haha various unmatched socks!

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  3. You all need to checkout the video show Meowfowars. He explains how this is all a scheme orchestrated by the liberal socialist dogs in their quest to ruin what is great about this nation. They invented these hostilities as a means to trick the public into sacrificing liberty for safety. Listen folks, there is not safety when we will be forced to suck on the government teet. First they come for the guns, then the vacuums? Where will they stop? If we let socialist dogs rule this country we are giving up our democracy... Another thing... this whole Russia is colluding with the cats is a LIE. Actually, the "socialist" dogs... and who else is a socialist nation... RUSSIA!... made it seem like Russia was advocating for cats... so when the cats were finally on task to make this liter box great again... they could CLAIM it was by a foreign power (we all know Russia is ran by DOGS). WELL IT AINT HAPPENING ON MY WATCH.

    While we are at this I'd like to discuss the dog agenda of discriminating against smokers. WHERE IS THE PROOF THAT SMOKE KILLED ANYONE! WHERE HUH?

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  4. You sir are insane! To suggest that peace talks is a political play by the cats is absurd. Cats have been terrorized by vacuums for years. It is time for an end to this conflict.

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  6. love this, so funny. I am rooting for you Mr. Butterbean.

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